Rob's Blog

When I first saw the trailer for Team America, I thought it looked likely to be very funny, but I had reservations about it. After all almost everyone, especially if they’re from Hollywood, is spouting the same boring one dimensional anti-American opinions. The last thing I wanted was to sit through an hour and a half of George Bush jokes.

But the film was made by the people behind South Park, a show with a keen sense of morals that presents sensible political views. And I remember somewhere seeing, hearing or reading an interview with either Matt Stone or Trey Parker who said that they were making fun of everyone and not taking sides. Then I saw a transcript of a rather excellent monologue from the film. I decided I must go and see for myself.

I was glad I did. For one thing, the film is laugh-out-loud wet-your-pants funny from start to finish. The puppetry is extremely clever and used to hilarious effect. The jokes against Team America are in good humour — yes, they manage to unnecessarily drive through market stalls during car chases and accidentally blow up the Eiffel Tower and wonder why the French aren’t grateful that they killed the terrorists, but they’re portrayed as the well meaning, if bumbling, good guys.

The terrorists, meanwhile, are portrayed as pure evil, while the Film Actors’ Guild, representing the American left, nuanced Europeans, and Hollywood actors who read newspapers and then repeat what they read on TV to sound intelligent, are the targets for the most cutting satire. They start out with half baked notions — corporations are evil because they make money; we can work it out if we just talk to the terrorists; “er…Global Warming!” — and end up as the film’s real baddies. Michael Moore is a suicide bomber.

That monologue turns out to be the main message of the film:

We’re reckless arrogant stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don’t like dicks because pussies get fucked by dicks, but dicks also fuck assholes. Assholes who just wanna shit on everything. Pussies may think that they can deal with assholes their way, but the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is that sometimes they fuck too much, or fuck when it isn’t appropriate, and it takes a pussy to show ‘em that. But sometimes pussies get so full of shit that they become assholes themselves. Because pussies are only an inch and a half away from assholes. I don’t know much in this crazy crazy world. But I do know that if you don’t let us fuck this asshole, we’re gonna have our dicks and our pussies all covered in shit.

Go and see this film, then consider whether you’d rather be a dick or a pussy.

This entry was posted on Saturday, January 22nd, 2005 at 10:30 pm and is filed under Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.